Entry: Birthday Sickness Oct 10, 2013



I have often wondered if I am cursed due to how often I get sick on or around my birthday. It could be all in my head, although my stomach says otherwise. Honestly I think that this year is due to mild food poisoning. Stomach cramps really suck, as does the fatigue,and hot and cold episodes. But in recent years I think that there was a mix of being psychological and the changing of the season from summer to fall. The psychological part is due to how often my birthday was forgotten growing up, to the point that I no longer looked forward to my birthday, it was just another day. Now that I am older, it is hard to get past that barrier of thinking it is something special, even when those around me go out of their way. Especially during the recession that we have been in, gifts and such are an expenditure means that something else would have to be sacrificed. I am definitely not willing to allow that to happen. It is amazing to me how much our needs and expectations change. When selfishness wanes and reality hits us like a ton of bricks. My family is great, but it also makes a big difference to them that I don't put a lot of emphasis on it as then they don't feel guilty when they can't afford to get me something, or don't have time to make something. I am just blessed to have them with me, and love me. That is the greatest gift that I could ask for. At the same time, I will do my best to think positively towards my birthday and perhaps that will change my feelings towards it.

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